based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I need a beard to bite.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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