This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
