I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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