Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
