4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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