omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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