I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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