don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The adults are the big ones right?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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