the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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