grandma shit on top of the toilet
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
