Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
