dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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