is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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