...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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