can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
