are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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