Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
