Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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