there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
