Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize