Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
