:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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