btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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