I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
