New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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