Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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