I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We have so much sex to catch up on
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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