I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
