Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
