If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
