none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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