gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
