I'm going to jail i love you
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize