My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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