we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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