dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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