You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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