Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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