Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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