Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
handjob tips. give me some.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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