Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
