I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
