I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
