make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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