i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I didn't notice because vodka
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
