i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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