check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
