Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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