Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
did i walk over a car last night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
