i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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