So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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