my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You pole danced in your parka.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
