Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
