he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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