My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I pour the whiskey from now on
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize