UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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