I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
