He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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